dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
