She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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