glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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