Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
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In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
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I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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