Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
