I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
