You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
