There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
