..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
