So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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