I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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