apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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