Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
