besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
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I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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