Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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