CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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