If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
