I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
