I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
