i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
