God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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