Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
