think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
