i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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