I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
operation harelip BJ is a go
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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