I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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