Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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