She's JV to your varsity
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
