Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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