its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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