Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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