I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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