yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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