you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize