Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
