Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
