party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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