I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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