My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize