Plan B is the new Plan A
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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