At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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