i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
