god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
