You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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