I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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