would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
