i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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