We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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