You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
