I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
