weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Success! We fucked roommates!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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