I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
