Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Randomize