wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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