Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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