After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
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First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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