he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
