I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
