A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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