You work out of a Hotel?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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