I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You can't special order awesome
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
