The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
