im drinking this country out of the recession.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I need moral support for this bender
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize