I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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