Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
