her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
