I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
