ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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