My girlfriend figured out who you are.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
