dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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